26A - Celebrating Failure
1) I know this may get more personal than what I would have liked but Pryor literally said to pour my soul out so that's what I'm going to do. This semester has been very tough for me. I was taking Finance again now over the summer because I had to withdraw last semester because I was going to fail the class. I told myself that I would get through this and that I would retake it and pass. Unfortunately, even though I studied more and was still using Study Edge as a resource (which is honestly the only the way to pass the class if you ask me) I managed to perform worse and did not getting passing exam grades on exam 1 and 2 again. I have lost count for the amount of times that I have cried over this class. I've never struggled so much in my entire life over one class. I reached a point where I even considered not only leaving UF but also dropping out of school entirely because this would be the only the class in the way of getting my diploma. It frustrates me how this class is designed to weed out Finance majors and I am not a finance major. It is literally ridiculous the level of difficulty this class is taught at including exams with no formula sheet when one of the tests themselves has 2 pages front and back worth of them. There's only one professor so you can't take it with anyone else. I reached out to an advisor because I didn't know what else I could do and I had fallen into a deep hole in which I thought I cannot graduate on time which I will not. I know its not the end of the world to graduate a semester later but that wasn't my goal and I never imagined that I would be in this situation. She asked me to reach out to my professor which led to nothing. My only options were to change my major (which I would have considered but I cannot be in school for another four years), take it during a study abroad (which I cannot afford), or retake it a third time. Retaking it is my only choice at this point which I am not looking forward to. On top of that I found out that they charge a fee for retaking a class on the third try that is equivalent to the cost of the class. Basically I'm paying double for a class. Yay me. The fact that I have to pay double for a class I'm clearly struggling in, and I'm not the only one, is ridiculous to me. There has to be something wrong if a student gets to that point. Unfortunately there's nothing else I can do. I am not happy about it and it has changed my outlook on school and the university itself in a very negative way. This is coming from a girl who literally loved to go to school and would complain during summer break of when school would start again. I felt that I had reached rock bottom which I really had.
2) What I have learned from this failure is that no matter what I do nothing will change how that class is designed unfortunately. I'm one of the minority who is having an even harder time with passing this course. I have to suck it up now again, and try a third time to hopefully pass and get this class out of my life. I have to study harder and put in more hours than humanly possible to try and get the information in my head. I also plan on trying to get another tutor along with study edge to see if some one-on-one attention will help me since I don't know what else I can do at this point. This is one of those times where you truly learn that life sometimes is not fair and will throw things at you that seem literally impossible to get through. That's how I feel right now. Hopefully, when I retake and actually pass the class I can get to a better place mentally.
3) I usually don't handle failure very well. In this case with finance, it has probably been the worst way I have ever handled a failure in my life. I've gotten super emotional with constant crying, anger, frustration, bitterness, and I'll even say depression at this point because that's how bad it has gotten. I didn't cope well will this failure and I'm just starting now to be in a better mindset as I try to move forward and do what I need to do. Other failures I've had that are not as bad as this one I generally also just tend to get emotional over since that's the kind of person I am. I cry easily so that's my most common reaction to failure. I've never been a risk-taker. I like following the rules and doing only what I'm comfortable or feel safe in doing. This class has taught me a lot about how failures are not always a bad thing and you can learn a lot from them. I don't think it will make me take me more risks but I would make some exceptions depending on what it is.
Sorry if I got too personal with this. This was honestly another way for me to vent about what's happening and I couldn't really think about anything else to write since this literally was my biggest failure this semester. Just wanted to be as honest about my situation. Thank you for reading.
Hey Isabella,
ReplyDeleteYour post was very personal and allowed me to relate to you. I have struggled in a few of my classes and have felt like giving up numerous times. You just have keep trying harder and put in your best effort. I am taking business finance in the fall so I know I may be met with the same failures as you. Your post scares me, but also makes me exciting to take on the challenges of that class. Third times the charm!!
- Sander B.
Hey Isabella!
ReplyDeleteSchool is tough I agree. There's been many obstacles that I've came across at UF, and I would sometimes think there's nothing I can do and feel sort of trapped. What I realized though is that it depends how bad you want it. For me, Calculus didn't click and I had to study twice as much as a normal student just to understand the information. I failed the class in the Spring which was a wake up call for me to put in a lot more work (which I've been doing so this summer). A suggestion that you may want to consider is to take this class at Sante Fe. That's what I did for accounting, and is a lot easier to do well in the class.